PAIN SUCKS.

I mean it. ;-)

I had a bit more weight on me during my twenties. At one point I was hovering around two hundred and forty five pounds, no where near my heaviest. I was working as an I.T. Manager and bending over entering a door security code. All of a sudden it felt like the entire bottom portion of my body had an electrical "brownout". There was a jolt of pain, followed by a feeling of helplessness as I realized that I was stuck and could not return to an upright walking position.

Oh, did I mention I was in a telephone closet in a locked area where no one could hear me.. and I was only 29 years old. I had a sexy back, didn't I? :-)

Luckily I remembered there was a chair a bit behind me, and I had control of my feet, so I was able to hobble over, sit down.. and wait for about 5 minutes before my normal sensation returned. However now, there was an acute pain, new doubts about my physical ability, and a new type of fear for me to handle for the rest of my life. My weak back. It took about two to three weeks until I felt like I had fully recovered. Now that I'm a runner, when I encounter one of these injuries I have to modify my training plan, sometimes dramatically, to allow my body the chance to recover and heal.

I'm now nearing the end of my second relapse. Both have been due to ridiculously silly events. The first was me trying to be more efficient by putting on a sock while standing- sorry make that leaning against a corner of a closet doorframe. I lifted my leg, felt a quick twinge.. two weeks of twitch pains and minor, yet continuous discomfort. This current one happened when I chose to mimic my cat Gary. Yes, his name was inspired by Spongebob Squarepants, although instead of being a snail who thinks he's a cat, my Gary is a cat who thinks he's a dog. He follows me EVERYWHERE. Check out this video to see his nightly dinner routine with me.

Gary and I were playing and he lunged at me. Just decided he was a tiny panther and took this futile.. funny, tiny lunge towards me.

I returned the favor (being a ridiculous man child) and once again, felt that familiar jolt. Dang it John.. you know better than this.

I'm at the end of my second week of recovery and I decided to take this week off from running. BOY, has THAT been challenging.. but I'm recognizing the benefits. A big lesson I've learned with running this year, and I think you'll see this theme in all my posts so far.. is the importance and strength of being able to modify your original game plan.

A lot of us are driven in running with tools created from our ego. Our "need for speed", or drive to improve doesn't quite come from the same spiritual space as what motivates you for a long slow run through the woods or on the beach. Our "plans"; or the way we envision the race going is a VERY deep and personal thing. We put a lot of energy, and invest hours of training; both physical and mental, into this internal "plan". When we take it out on the road, and something breaks down or doesn't go as expected, our ego can take a serious hit. In a naturally competitive event like running, this twist can really work against you, or even take you completely out of the race.

My wife and I run several running groups throughout the year, so a lot of our schedule is planned.. literally years in advance. Around that, Vera and I weave our personal training in by adding runs at faster speeds, longer intervals, and longer distances. We even choose races specifically to push our own boundaries. This enables us to keep devleoping and becoming better runners, and in turn better running group leaders. I usually have between 6-12 months of my running training plan loaded into my Google calendar. I know daily what I'm going to do.. that is, until I'm injured.

This morning of this writing is a group run, that I will sit out. Yes, I'm taking my favorite part of the week, have forcing myself to sit it out so I can allow my back to fully recover. I will still go, and cheer on the team, pass out some hugs and laughs and all the other great stuff, by my internal trainer has now grabbed my training plan. He's telling me it's time to back off, and I'm going to listen. This is the same internal voice that got me through Grandma's Marathon this year by altering my plan, taking an hour off my previous marathon time. This is the same voice that lifts me out of the dumps when I'm ready to move forward from my last failure or disappointment. This voice is all the best parts of you being driven by positive energy. I REALLY like THIS voice.

There is that other voice.. oh yes. He wants me to run. He's even trying to use my ego against me.. "they NEED you out there John, what will those poor runners do". Oh the games we play with ourselves. This voice is loud and can grab your attention easily, distracting you from your true goal and killing your ability to focus. This is the quitter in you. One of the reasons I run, is that it gives me so much time to face "Mr. Quitter", and to let him know who's really the boss around here. That boss says it's time to take a week off, so we can avoid having to take a forced MONTH off, and that's what we are going to do.
______

One Week Later...

It's Saturday morning again! I am rested, recharged, and ready to see my team (Team SPIRIT) take on their first 8 mile run. :-) The week off was exactly what I needed. I stuck to my recovery, and I'm feeling strong. I lost a week of mileage, but I'm almost certain I've avoided a true "blowout", and by doing so ensured that I can continue with my long term goals. My mind struggled a bit with the downtime, but I stayed commited to my new altered plan and the benefits are already obvious. Mr. Quitter, hope you're ready for some more time together. I've got a few new lessons for you.

As runners we sometimes get so focused on execution, that it's hard to say "I need a break"; even if that's EXACTLY what we need. If your body is telling you for several days in a row that there is a problem, you MUST listen to it. Talk to your doctor, get some help, and find a way to move forward. Moving forward is what we were made to do; if you doubt it, just look at your feet.

I hope that someday this blog post may help someone take that break if they truly need it.

But only for as long as they need it. ;-)

Keep running,
-John

Disney, The Biggest Loser, and Me

I would like to start this post with a brief recap of an AMAZING RACE that I experienced last weekend. As you may have read here on www.feelgoodrunning.com, many members of the running group program that my wife and I manage completed the San Diego AFC race. Last weekend, our remaining members from that training cycle, a small but truly mighty crew, tackled the Disneyland Half Marathon. Actually "tackled" may not be the right word; how about "partied" for 13.1 miles through the Happiest Race on Earth; through a supportive, kind spirited, and extremely giving SoCal neighborhood (thank you Anaheim!!).

If you only run one race in your life, I HIGHLY recommend that you make the Disneyland Half Marathon the one. Do not expect to hit any Personal Records (although through repeated years you can progress up in corrals and make competitive times). If you are able to run a race ignoring your clock for a bit, and just slow down and take in the experience, you will find a truly magical run with fifteen thousand of your closest friends. This was my third year running it, and slowest, and probably the "un-raciest" race I've ever raced, but I literally felt like a hero the whole time. :-)

That's me as "Tron John" with my sister Erika dressed as Snow White. Our mother made her costume specifically for running (you rock Mom!). I bought a Disney "Tron Legacy" costume and modified it, removing the pants and sleeves. I also added about 30 feet of electrical wire, several other self-illuminating pieces, and literally heard cheers and screams of "Tron" throughout the entire pre-race morning and the entire race. It was unforgettable for someone that once had the dream of being an actor, and always thought his body was too fat and misshapen to play starring hero roles. For this run, I WAS the hero. Those old hang ups left on miles of road behind me, one drip of sweat at a time. I'm finally seeing that I'm not the old 240 pound version of John. It's FINALLY starting to sink in after three plus years of running.

I wore that costume all morning with pride, stopped to take photos wherever it struck my fancy, and not ONCE would I let myself beat myself up about finishing times, speed, or any of that other usual runner nonsense. This was a different experience, and I was lucky enough to give myself the freedom to have it. I mean, how else could you ever get photos like these?

It was more about enjoying my time with the people around me, and paying respect to the benefits and gifts of running. I've never met so many happy people all in one place. Our team members each finished their race and achieved new personal accomplishments (you can read more about it here.) I had one of the best races of my life, and look forward to figuring out other ways I can share positive energy and give others a little extra "Disney Magic" at future races. :-)

I also wanted to give a quick thank you to runDisney for accepting our running group as an official Disney Running Team this year (GO TEAM!!), and of course my wife Vera and I got a few very special moments with our mentor and runDisney Training Advisor, Jeff Galloway. Thank you for your guidance and inspiration Jeff. Our program members, Vera and myself thank you!!

THE BIGGEST LOSER

I have gone through quite an emotional arc with the television show "The Biggest Loser", who happened to be shooting part of an episode near my workplace last week. When I first started watching it back in 2005 I probably weighed about 240 pounds. At six feet and change that's not a ton of extra weight, but fifty extra pounds is FIFTY extra pounds.

The "before" pic is from 2006, and the "after" pic is from the San Diego AFC race a few weekends ago.

My wife and I would watch Biggest Loser, and I would usually feel bad about myself when I saw how hard these contestants work, and I compared that to how little I was doing to help myself. I had previously been a gym rat, I had sports that I loved and could easily re-engage, but for some reason I hadn't. It had gotten to the point where I had slowed my life down, and now lived nearly EVERYTHING vicariously through TV or media. Even my workouts.

I would frequently complain at the TV. "These producers are a-holes! Do they really need refigerators with fake food behind the contestants? Do they really have to submit their votes using hotel room plate covers?" And those temptation challenges, don't get me started! I thought they were literally torturing those people at times.

What I appreciated about the show was the contestants, and the attitude of the trainers. In Bob and Jillian, I saw two very healthy and active individuals with a positive energy and battery that would not quit. I didn't think I would ever be like them, but I thought I could at least be a bit MORE like them than I currently was. So I kept watching.

A few years later, my wife rebooted her joy of running. I saw her adapt and change over the course of a year, and I knew the time had come. I took up running and my life has not been the same. Once I started to become an athlete, the lessons I had heard from Bob and Jillian over the years really helped me out.

There was one case in particular where Bob really got through to me. When I have a tough time running, I actually hear quotes in my head specifically from this episode. Luckily, it was a popular enough moment that someone has posted it on YouTube. :-) It is affectionately called "Bob's Freakout", and before watching this I ask you to put yourself in Joelle, the contestants, shoes and imagine what this must have been like to personally face, and move through.



Like Joelle, I wasn't getting the message. I would watch The Biggest Loser, and find reasons to judge and demean it in order to continue my lie to myself about my health. Bob is being more forceful than I've ever seen him in this episode, but within these brief few minutes.. he has changed this woman forever. The old Joelle that wanted to control the situation at all costs.. failing at 20 seconds "every.. single.. time.." needed to be put away and left behind. The few seconds right at the end of the clip say it all. Look in Joelle's eyes and you don't see a woman that was just stripped of her dignity due to being berated. You see a new, strong, brave woman that just learned that her old boundaries are imaginary and self-imposed; a lie she's kept from herself. In her eyes are simple strength, hope, and truth. Joelle is ready to look at everything with new eyes after this episode, and she actually does considerably well that season considering her initially weak spirit. I'd love to personally thank both Bob and Joelle for being brave enough individuals to have this very intimate and sensitive experience happen in the face of the nation. THAT is courage and also inspiring.

Vera and I were fortunate enough to go to a taping of one of the makeover episode for season 10. Vera wrote a great article about it here. We somehow managed front row seats, right at the end of the catwalk. We got to see our favorite stars up VERY close, and we both even got to briefly speak with Alison Sweeney. She was an awesome hostess, taking a ton of time to chat with the audience and keep us entertained. This whole production crew works together like a very well-oiled machine, and I'm so happy that Vera and I were given a chance to witness it first-hand.

I may not be Bob from The Biggest Loser, but "Tron John" is pretty damn rad and inspired a LOT of people that morning. Tron-John is the dude that ran Disney last weekend, my old runner being left somewhere in the past like that weakened Joelle. Thank you to Bob, Jillian, and The Biggest Loser for bringing hope and awareness to people everywhere and literally saving lives time and time again. Thank you to Disney for finding a way to get kids moving before they become eligible to be contestants on the Biggest Loser (the race events are great family memories waiting to be experienced). Thank you again Disney for letting my inner child have the day of his life. We all know that children love to run around at the park. :-)

Unfortunately I didn't get to meet or see anyone at the Biggest Loser shooting that was going on close to work, but if Bob ever sees this post someday.. thank you Bob, and PLEASE send my wife an email at vera@loveliverun.com to tell her how amazing she is for starting our passion for running, AND our running group (she would literally die to hear from you, and probably offer to buy you a Starbucks). Jillian, if you ever read this.. thank you for your heart, passion and undying support of those who have given up on themselves. The amount that both of you give to this world as individuals is amazing. I know Jillian has left the show, but my wife constantly tells me how much she loves her Jillian iFit cards. :-)

To the producers of Biggest Loser, do those plates really have to stay? :-) Thank you for imagining a new type of television show and being brave enough to make it happen on a major network! Your crew ROCKS!

Here's a few pics I grabbed from the shoot close to work..

On or off camera, make it a happy run!

John

"The Power of Running" Now Available!

I have completed my latest running essay and it is posted above. Please click "The Power of Running" to check it out. I hope you like it!

Working on a few good treats to be posted soon, including my recap on the Disneyland Half. Here is a teaser.

Happy Tronning Running!
-John

John's New Friend Missy

You and I are SO lucky right now. I'm lucky because I get to recall one of the best days of my life, and YOU are lucky because you're about to meet my new friend Missy!

My wife and I run a local running program for Jeff Galloway, teaching his run/walk/run method, and Missy is a member of our team. She just crossed the finish line this past weekend at the "America's Finest City" Half Marathon in San Diego, California (YAY MISSY!). How she GOT to that finish line is an example of determination, commitment, and sheer courage that I'm SURE you will appreciate. I also have to take a moment to personally thank Missy for allowing me to share this story. It's a very intimate and personal change that she went through, and Missy is again demonstrating newly found inner strength in allowing this story to be shared. Missy, I'm your number one fan!!

You could cut the energy at the starting corral with a knife. It was a beautiful morning; a cool breeze with a slight overcast in amazing San Diego (home of Comic Con!!). These were truly perfect conditions for a race. Vera and I had trained our AFC team several times at beaches near our home running store, so we knew our running club members were WELL equipped for this type of humidity.

I was especially excited; I NEEDED this race. I know what I put my body through at Grandma's Marathon earlier this year, and I enjoyed a planned "down cycle" from my usual training plan. My body has been recovering, but my mind has been itching for it's usual dose of running time. Our Galloway training programs always give me a guaranteed number of weekly miles, but I was missing my "John" time. Coming into San Diego, I had some fear and a little doubt kicking around. I had only run once that week.. and I was having motivation issues. What if I couldn't finish for some reason?!?

I was able to quickly move around those fears, thanks to the distraction of 10 runners that I was responsible for getting across that finishing line. The group looked amazing this morning. Everyone was fresh with game faces on.

When I saw their excitement and took in the power of the event, my fears disappeared. You got this John. You've been a Pace Group Leader for MANY runs now. You've taken them for 14 miles just a few weekends ago for crying out loud! My confidence quickly returned and I was getting ready for my new challenge.

I had come into this race incorrectly assuming that I would be helping two program members that have been struggling during our long training runs. As I've said many times before (and will again), things NEVER go according to your plans. The two I was worried about took off ahead of me after about mile 2, and I only know that they survived because of their amazing record times and pictures! ;-)

About mile 4, I realized that this race was going to be about helping out someone else. Missy was in good shape, and kept up with the running intervals; however I could tell by her breathing, and see on her face that she wasn't having a good time. I dropped back with her as my team formed into it's own natural groups (yet ANOTHER benefit of group running) and continued on ahead of us, each of them striving for personal time goals.

"I usually warm up around the 4th mile" Missy told me. I know pleading when I hear it. This girl is having trouble getting her engine going today, and somewhere deep down inside of her is a growing lump of doubt. A lump saying she will fail like she always does, she will go back to the way she was before she started running like she always does. She was carrying fifty more pounds of fear and doubt along with her on this race, and if this monkey was determined to stay on her back, well.. that monkey and me were going to have a little chat.

The AFC race runs on a bit of a tight time limit for new racers. They state that it must be completed within 3 hours, and that the streets will be reopened regardless of runners still on the course. Back at Granmdma's marathon, I was in a similar situation. I turned around at one point and remember seeing a truck riding up behind me. I pushed a little and left that truck behind at Grandma's. Here I was, about 5 miles into AFC with Missy and I figure out that I've never looked behind us to see where the truck was. I turn my head for a quick peek. Oh CRAP.. it's RIGHT behind us.. maybe 30 or 40 feet. There's a handful of runners between us and the menacing jaws of the race closure.

I'm now thinking "this HAS to be killing Missy.. just the mental anguish of that freaking truck behind her". I keep talking and trying to motivate her to relax and try to really recover during her walk breaks. I specifically tell her to ask herself if she is walking SLOW enough to feel her body recovering.

While I'm doing all this, I check my Garmin GPS and see that we are still on track for around a three hour finish.. maybe 3:10 or 3:15.. but I didn't know what that meant. Was the finishing line going to still be there? Would we get caught up on crosswalks when they reopened traffic? What was this woman, who is struggling more now as the sun starts breaking through the morning mist, what is she going to have to go through to truly "finish" this race?

"Missy, there's a chance that we're not going to finish at 3 hours" I break to her around mile 6. "I'm altering our race plan so you can run a little slower, and more importantly WALK slower, and we're going to finish around 3 hours and 10 minutes". "OK" and she quickly nods, taking a quick swig from her camel pack. "The goal of this race is for you and I to enjoy it, we'll cross our own finish line when my watch says we've hit 13.1, sound good?", "You got it John". When "RunnerMissy" is around, there is quick, decisive action!

We enjoyed five great miles at the new pace, but eventually at ten and a half miles, with the glaring sun beating down on her face, Missy looked up at me and said she couldn't run anymore, and I knew she was right. The monkey on her back was finally a gorilla, and though she couldn't run with that sucker on her back anymore.. Missy and I once again altered our race plan. We were going to DRAG that big stupid monkey-gorilla over the finish line, where we could leave it's ass behind FOR GOOD! We left the interval timer going, but instead of running, we would "walk hard" or "walk easy". We kept chugging along talking, and taking in this beautiful day. Two new friends getting to know each other during a personal challenge-gone-crisis.

The cops pushed us up on the sidewalk, no biggie. One of our other Pace Group Leaders caught up to us after taking a pit stop to help add to the mix of conversation and give Missy another dose of energy and inspiration.
The cones are now being removed, and streets are reopening. We almost miss a turn (whoops! Pace Group Leader should have known that course map a little better!!! :-) ).

Pam eventually leaves us to catch up with the group, and HER personal goal. All of a sudden.. that fear I had from the morning pops back up. "What if we get there, and the finishing line is gone, and my record shows a 'Did Not Finish - DNF'"? I would have done this whole race and not gotten a medal!?! And people that look at my record on Atlinks.com or DailyMile will think I'm some loser"! Then I thought.. what if Missy doesn't get a medal. I almost consider calling my wife Vera, who I'm sure is at the finish, but I can't risk Missy hearing THAT discussion. I think about that "DNF". If anyone cared enough to ask about why I had a "DNF" for this race, I could tell them a great story about a girl I ran it with named Missy. What a great reason to have, own, and be PROUD of a DNF! Let's get Missy across our own finish line!

With the help of some completed runners (thank goodness they love to wear their new medals!), and their kind words of encouragement to us, we eventually find our way to Sixth St in San Diego, and make a left turn---

Whoa.. THAT is a BIG and LONG hill. I talk Missy up for one last good push, and we start charging. She's really giving it all she's got now. Luckily, we're on the shady side of the street, and getting just a little relief from that blasting sun. People are constantly sending out encouragement and cheers now, about every minute or so. Missy's face brightens and she smiles back at them with an energetic "thank you!"

"You can do it!", "you're almost there"; it feels like we're actually starting to move faster now. Missy still doubts herself, she asks what if she can't finish. I remind her that she actually IS doing it. Despite her talk, despite the negative chatter in her head, Missy's body and new found spirit have taken over. She works and gets up the hill, we turn a corner with more shouts of encouragement and are once again enjoying our race.

My adrenaline SHOOTS through my body when I see the finish line. It's up, there's still people cheering, the music is still blasting. My eyes find my sister (a Pace Group Leader for our Disney race team) in the stands. I tell Missy "Alright Missy, we gotta run this out through the finish, but I want you to tell me when we're starting. You HAVE to be sure that you can run all the way through the finish." As we walk up to where the guard railing begins, New Missy tells me.. "OK, where the rail begins"...

I'm not sure why I did it, but I was somehow smart enough to pull out a sport cam that I use, and I actually recorded Missy's finish from this point forward. You can see the rest of this play out for yourself below! I probably couldn't write it out due to excessive moisture around my ocular units, just know that this is one of my proudest moments as a runner, Pace Group Leader, and man. We are on this planet to help each other. Once again, thank you Missy for being so generous and brave in sharing this; now you are helping others too!

Click HERE to see Missy's Big Finish!

Missy and I finished at 3:25:41, an AWESOME time. To see what Missy was able to pull out at that finish line, and how hard she worked for that moment was worth every single step that came before it. As we came across the finish we were greeted by my teary eyed wife and several group members. Missy's mother, Kim, who also ran the half marathon with our program was there for more hugs and tears. Even the event staff joined in on the celebration, making sure to run over and give us medals before we took any photos. It was really a special moment. Like a new family being made all within one big accomplishment. An accomplishment that only Missy could have made, and she did.

Missy has already started training for her next half marathon! Go get it girl!!

Happy Running Everyone!
John

Six days until lift off!

Hello Runners!!

Some VERY interesting stuff in the works!!

First of all, I'm writing a new essay called "The Power of Communal Running" specifically for www.feelgoodrunning.com. It really makes me "feelgood" to want to write another paper without getting any school credit for it! 8^) I'm extremely passionate about group running right now; RunnerWife and I have been working with group running long enough to recognize the immense benefits it brings. As a matter of fact, at dinner last night I met a very nice lady and by the end of the night she was convinced that she had to come out and try our group to both get back in touch with her formerly retired runner, AND to meet new great people (see you soon Sandy!). Stay tuned for my in depth analysis on "Communal Running" and it's great benefits soon!

Yesterday was the final training run for our Galloway Training group for America's Finest City Half Marathon in San Diego, CA. The team is looking great and has the "eye of the tiger". I can't wait to experience this great city again (I was just there for Comic Con last month) and now I get to share the wonderful sights and sounds of San Diego with our new running friends. I even hope to catch up with a college classmate while we're out there (hey Phil!). If you're at AFC, keep an eye out for Galloway Walk/Run/Walk shirts and you might just find us. I'll be the guy with the giant smile plastered across my face, and a bunch of excited new runners around me.

While running groups are amazing, we also have our challenges. It's tough to see our running friends sometimes get "taken out" by their old patterns and false beliefs, and RunnerWife and I had a casualty this week. We know a real great person that is STILL a member of our team (if she likes it or not :-) ) we will call "Dorothy". Dorothy recently decided to stop our program after accomplishing her greatest distance yet. She had struggled a bit before and I journaled about it at the time. Here is my entry from July 1st 2011;
____

I just moved to Simi, specifically to help new runners. On the first day we were here, one of our favorite group members contacted my wife saying she wanted to quit! Up to this time, I thought she was a clone of my wife. She wanted to wear the same shoes as Vera, do the same races, etc. All of a sudden she just wanted to quit. We invited her over, literally in the middle of a moving day and spoke to her about what was up. Turns out, she simply had a bad run. But she had so badly beaten herself up mentally over it, that she was willing to give it all away. The health benefits, the enjoyment of others, the fresh air.

Turns out that she had a tape of her mother’s voice constantly running in her head. A tape saying that she would never be good enough, that running was bad for your knees and joints (knee pain was her primary complaint, though it didn’t come up ONCE during our discussion in person), why are you doing this to yourself. I know exactly what she’s going through. I’ve worked to stop those tapes in my head for literally years. I’d say I’ve got it about 70% down, and I focus on it A LOT.

I reminded her why she started running with the group in the first place. You don’t do it for compliments, you don’t do it for your mom, or your Dad or even your spouse. If you’re running for anyone other than you, you will always give it up. In most cases, you also give up the person you’re wrecklessly blaming.

UPDATE: She ran 10.5 miles at the beach with us on 7/10 and LOVED it! :-)
_____

UPDATE to the UPDATE: We lost "Dorothy" again this week, but I truly believe she is not far and of course we are here to welcome her back whenever she's ready. The new challenge is that others are noticing a change in her and it's scaring them. This is something else I have a lot of experience with. I'm not going to upsell it or downplay it here.. running changes who you are at a core level, it brings you back to the best that nature ever intended of you. Most people in our current society DO NOT live this way, and moreso.. some will be threatened by it.

It is SO difficult when you have people that you care about and you feel like they're holding you back. Unfortunately, if you do truly feel that though, you must act on it. That doesn't mean rejecting the people or removing them from your life. It just means caring about them enough to communicate openly with them. Let them know that you are blazing a new trail, and their support is appreciated, but doubt is no longer welcome. You CAN change your relationships with the people you care about. Ultimately this changes your relationship with yourself, and you have more to give to others in general.

I stopped speaking to my mother for several years to learn this lesson. I've lost friends, burned bridges, and literally rejected success using this pattern. Please don't repeat my mistake. When you go through these radical life changes, you will freak people out. You have to realize that you're the leader in these situations, and you have to be brave enough to lead for your very survival and happiness.

Whew.. sorry I went a little deep there for a second. I hope sharing thoughts of mine like this publicly may help someone else out there. I believe there are great lessons in both our success and our failures.

Back to our successes.. AFC Team- I could not be more proud of you and I'll see you in San Diego! Disney team.. rev up your engines and enjoy your long run next weekend!

Dorothy, we'll be waiting for you in Oz. Trust me.. you'll get tired of that black and white farm soon enough. :-) We miss you and wish you health and happiness.

To all my other running friends, thank you for visiting and keep yourself moving and happy. That's what we're on this planet to do!

Happy Sunday everyone,
John

Feeling Good after Comic Con!

Hi everyone.  I've been hard at work this week on your next treat from http://www.feelgoodrunning.com/.  I've decided that in honor of last weekend's trip, this weeks post will be a COMIC book. 

I do want to tell you about a few key takeaways from this experience before I send you off on your Comic Con adventure.

1. When running in a strange location be sure to take a smartphone!  You never know when you may need it.
2. Get to know your apps BEFORE you need them.  Especially MAPS, Phone functions (quickdial is great if you are feeling distressed), and MORE.
3. Check out your route PRIOR to heading out.
4. Tell someone where you are going with a timeframe and post run check in details.
5. Be aware at all times, DO NOT EVER ASSUME when running anywhere.
6. Headphones should be low or special to allow you to hear ambient noise.  Check by listening to road traffic passing, you should hear it comfortably balanced with your music.
7. Whenever you go out, have fun and BE YOURSELF.  Being self concious when you're running sucks, if you feel better running dressed in your favorite superhero logo, GO FOR IT WITH PRIDE!

I've saved the comic book in PDF format for you below. 

It's called "Flash Lordan" and  I hope you enjoy it!

FLASH LORDAN #1 - PDF

Happy running,

John

My First College Research Paper

   I'm 35 years old and I just went back to college.  I had tried to start in 1994, right after high school.  I signed up for two classes, English Composition and some Media and Society class that sounded like an easy A for a TV/Video Game addict like me.  At the time I was newly married (yes I was 19, no it didn't last long :-) ) and I think I went to the first class once.  Needless to say, my transcript how has two F's and I 'm finally back to get those changed to "W"'s.  I really don't get this college letter grading system. ;-p

  So 17 years and what feels like a lifetime later I'm back in school and I love it.  The rest of this post is the first draft of my research paper.  My topic?  Is Running Truly "Hard".  I hope you like it.  -J

Is Running Truly “Hard”?

Who was this person I had become?  “An entire marathon John, you really think you can run a full MARATHON” a voice knocked around in my head.  I take a swig from my bottle of Gatorade; slam the cap down with my other palm and start running again.  This just wasn’t how I dreamt it would go.  The thing about running is, for something so seemingly simple it just never goes according to your plan.

“By using a successful brainwashing technique, you can use the resources from past successes.” (Jeff Galloway Email)

 “Relax, Power, Glide John, use your ‘power words’” my brain pleads.  I’m not ready to give this up, yet there’s a part of me that wants to fall down and cry.  I’m bigger than that wimpy part of me.  That’s old John.  Listen to strong silent John.  The one that’s still standing there after your ego has been shattered by reality.

I had to get to that finish line.  I could already picture it; bleachers full of cheering spectators, people of every shape, size and age running together into a stream of color and joy.  Some runners will cruise in effortlessly and celebrate their victories pumping a fist along the way.  Others might look like they’re about to die as they stumble across the finish line, faces twisted and tears flowing down their red cheeks.  The truth is they are dying.  They’re killing off the old them so they can change and be someone different.  If they stick with it, they get everything they ask for and a whole lot more.

I originally fell in love with running as a spectator of the Disneyland Half Marathon.  Being a spectator at that race is a bit of a sport and adventure in itself.  I spent a considerable amount of time stumbling around Anaheim at 5AM in the pitch black asking people “Do you know where the finish line is?”, “Nope, I know the Start is over there though!”  Yeah, maybe I should go to the start and try to run to the finish before my wife gets there.  I finally did make it to my seat and I waited.  I waited.  I waited until about an hour after the start, and then I saw one of the most amazingly inspirational things in my life.

This single moment changed my life.  If those men could do a half marathon and come down the finishing chute blazing faster than a lightcycle in Tron, I could do something.  Maybe not a half marathon, but I could do a 5K.  These guys just used their arms for the past 13.1 miles!  A 5K is three miles and some change, that was doable right John?  Right John?  HEY look at that!  Some lady just high fived Mickey Mouse as she crossed the finish line.  I really want to high five Mickey Mouse someday.  Yes, I can do a 5k and after that who knows, maybe even a half marathon.  Right now I have to learn how to just get started.

Luckily, my wife Vera had started running a year before me, so I had plenty of information.  I did the 5k and then a 10k, and yes I did do that Disneyland Half Marathon race and it was great!  I got to see myself on the Jumbo-tron in Angel’s stadium as I ran around the infield during mile 9 and I finished the race in two hours and forty one minutes.  Four whole minutes under my goal!  I will never forget the feeling of accomplishment that graced me once I crossed that finish line, but even after getting out there at Disneyland and having my own personal “Amazing Race” I had to take it even further. 

Here I was in Florida, eighteen months into my “running career”, and only four months after my first Disneyland Half Marathon.  We are experiencing the coldest weather recorded in Orlando for that weekend in over twenty years.  This even includes snow falling the morning before.  I am now running a full marathon towards the finish line at Epcot Center at Walt Disney World?  What the hell was I thinking? 

The running system I use is based on taking walk breaks.  Jeff Galloway is the creator of his “run-walk-run” method and a bit of a personal hero of mine.  On top of being an Olympic athlete and gifted author, Jeff Galloway has literally lived history.  He was present for the horrible “Munich massacre” during the 1972 Olympic Games in which several Olympic Athletes were brutally executed.  He trained with the “James Dean” of running Steve Prefontaine, as well as the only US athlete to currently hold a gold medal in the Olympics for the marathon, Frank Shorter.  Jeff Galloway credits running with providing his stable and happy attitude a tool that serves him well both on the race course and off.

Jeff Galloway was also doing something else amazing.  He was helping people that were out of shape and unhealthy all over America become runners right now.  I know because he did it for me way before I ever met him via his writing, teachings and nowadays my wife and I spread his message by running a local chapter of his running organization.  Our running group members are usually relatively inexperienced.  Some people haven’t run a full mile in their lives before joining our group.  Jeff Galloway’s “run-walk-run” method gives them the tools they need to truly enjoy the act of running and not just the benefits.

“Walk breaks… give you confidence [and] stimulate positive attitude hormones.” (Galloway, Mental 114)

Unfortunately, Jeff isn’t here to help me here in my first full marathon.  Twenty-IsThisOverYet miles into the race and I realize that I’m just not going to be able to run anymore.  My legs wobbled and I started walking WELL before my intended walk break.  The stress of simply being worried about something bad happening became too much to bear.  The thing about “running systems” is just like any other system, mechanical or electrical.  Once you let them break it’s sometimes very hard to get them going again.  Even if you do, you just don’t trust them like you did originally. 

Dick Beardsley, the third fastest US born marathoner put it simply when he found himself in a similar situation.

“If I had to walk in, I was gonna finish” (C Tolle Run)

               Dick Beardsley was discussing a lackluster performance of his during a marathon.  He finished with at two hours and twenty seven minutes.    I had already been out there for four hours.  I was now hoping to finish around seven hours which was the time limit for this race.  Vera’s going to be waiting forever and get worried, I just know it.  “I’m going to have to walk it in.  I can’t risk not finishing” I thought to myself, a big pulse of pride dropping out of my chest and onto the road behind me.  I felt like Dick.

  Erika Lordan is my sister and has been running for only eight months.  She currently averages eight miles per week.  Erika decided to become a runner in November of 2010, and in the eight months that have passed since Erika has run two 5K’s and a half marathon.  She has also lost fifty-four pounds and there appears to be no stopping her, however before she was “a runner” she had a much different story.

“I have Myasthenia Gravis… If it starts attacking my respiratory [system] I’ll have to be on a ventilator, I won’t be able to control my lungs.”  (Lordan, Interview)

I was actually at the ER with Erika when her symptoms first turned serious.  The entire left side of her face went dead as if she had a stroke; her tongue not cooperating with her when she was attempting to speak, her embarrassment when eating and drinking because of her lack of motor control and difficulty swallowing.  The trigger for all of these symptoms was stress.  When her anxiety reaches a certain level, the symptoms would start and gradually get worse.  Unfortunately Erika works in the health insurance industry, stress is a way of life for her.

A few years ago my sister volunteered for an experimental surgery with the goal of putting her disease into remission.  Her chest and ribcage were cut open, much like an open heart procedure and they removed her thymus gland.  The hope of putting her disease into remission fell short, however she was able to stop taking all her medication and she believes running is a key tool for managing her stress.

I was with my sister at the hospital before and after the procedure.  Despite ALL those setbacks my sister bounced back.  More than bounced back, she jumped off the couch and got moving and she hasn’t stopped since.  Erika has put in her work and now enjoys a much healthier life, though she still occasionally worries since her disease is not in full remission.

 “I’m more positive in my outlook… I go through my cycle and I’ll get past this issue, I’ll get past that finish line.” (Lordan, Interview)

Bryan Damesworth has been a runner for approximately thirty years.  He averages twenty-five miles a week and is also the owner of a Simi Valley based specialty running store named “Foot Pursuit.” 

“"Running has helped me to "go the distance" in so many other avenues (career, family, relationships, illness and survival).”  (Damesworth, Email)

Survival?  If you’re wondering what Bryan exactly meant by survival, on top of owning “Foot Pursuit” Bryan is an officer with the LAPD and works with the LAPD “Metro” Division.  Unfortunately we’re not talking about public transit.  Bryan works in areas being targeted for reduction of violent criminal activity in the Compton and Watts areas of South Central Los Angeles.  His division is home to several specialty units including; SWAT, K-9, Mounted units and two line platoons.  Bryan even gets the privilege of working security for the President when he’s visiting.

Bryan relies on being in shape for his very survival and the safety of the public.  He uses running to keep him not only physically sharp, but mentally prepared.  When I asked him to comment on the topic of this paper he put the answer to me very plainly. 

“Running is not hard.”  (Damesworth, Email)

Really Bryan?  I’m at mile 22 and WALKING is feeling pretty hard to me!

            John, this just isn’t going to cut it.  You’re going to have to move faster than this!  Now that I’ve been walking for a bit, my stress center is calm and my body is starting to feel normal again.  The negative chatter in my head finally stops as a “silent power” from within takes hold.  My legs all of a sudden felt fine, not good enough to run but there is clearly nothing seriously wrong with them.  I can do this.  I’m going to once again use one of my favorite “power words” and “power” walk my ass to that finish line!  Here I come Vera, here I come Mickey!  I want a high five!

            “Running continuously will become “hard" for most people.” (Galloway, Email)

In Jeff Galloway’s book ‘Mental Training for Runners: How to Stay Motivated’ Jeff explains how there is a balance that can be achieved by using endorphins to manage your stress level, and this tool can be used to make running more enjoyable.  You can control your endorphin release by using a combination of running and walking, instead of just outright running as most people attempt. 

Jeff Galloway often cites “TMS” or tension mytosis syndrome as a leading cause of runner’s pain, fatigue and failure.  TMS is a concept further detailed by Dr. John E. Sarno in his work ‘The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders’.  The figure below from this book lends itself quite well to the specific stress system engaged while running. 

            TMS pain doesn’t start until after mild oxygen deprivation, so imagine you’ve been running for 30 minutes straight and start at the “TMS PAIN” box in Figure 1.  As this level increases, it adds weight or pressure to the bucket directly below it; Rage, Emotional Pain and Sadness.  As these increase they push your Ego.  You start hearing messages of self-doubt in your head, old injuries seem to flare up, and emotional wounds reopen.  All your weak points start to squeak and squeal at the same time which scares you even more. 

That line from Ego that travels back to TMS Pain means that your newly created fear actually works like a turbo engine, creating its own momentum by feeding energy back into your TMS Pain box.  It is an engine designed to force you to quit, making you so frustrated and fraught with pain and messages that you just give up.  The mind is actually trying to help.  It really does think you are damaging yourself and it attempts to shut you down for the sake of self-preservation.

Eventually your ego can’t take all this pressure and it kicks off an event that breaks that line in Figure 1 that cuts between your conscious and unconscious mind.  Have you ever been so upset that you don’t remember what you did next?  Guess what, you’ve experienced Figure 1 and one of these “events” we are discussing.  It’s almost as if you are temporarily taken over by your subconscious; an off the cuff remark, blurting something out, a slap.  We have all experienced this pattern.  This pattern is what’s hard not only about running, but about it’s this same pattern that’s hard on us in our daily lives.

Self-inflicted negative messages can really stop you literally in your tracks. I’m still working to deprogram some of my more resilient ones.  It’s no surprise really.  Most people have found themselves exposed to some form of negative messages about running in their lives, usually during their impressionable youth.  Running is frequently associated with punishment to children.  They are never given a chance to fully comprehend the physical, emotional and social benefits because of the severe social pressure and false information they are bombarded with. That false information originates from the fears, failures and misconceptions of others.  Don’t you have enough of your own false information to deal with? 

I now understand that running was actually the friend I needed most.  The type of friend that doesn’t tell you what you WANT to hear, they tell you what you NEED to hear.  That special buddy of yours that always picks you up and is never pissed off at you if you cancel plans with them; a close confidant that knows your deepest fears and wildest fantasies and teases you about both.  A spiritual partner that can communicate a thousand words with you just being together in simple silence.  In case you’ve been lied to like I was previously in my life, PLEASE let me “re-welcome” you to running.

Life easily paralyzes us with small doses of the single most disabling type of fear, the fear of failure.  This mind pattern can take a human beings existence and relegate it to little more than a set of extremely low expectations surrounded by the occasional mildly amusing surprise.  Each of us has an inner truth, yet I believe most people are so out of touch with it that they don’t realize they are running already.  Instead of running outside in the fresh air living, they are running from life.

I finished the 2010 Disneyworld Marathon at six hours and twenty seven minutes and became a new person.  I didn’t get to high-five Mickey like I was hoping, I high fived Donald instead. 

I told you this running thing never goes according to plan, it usually goes better than planned.

“Running blends body, mind and spirit into a POSITIVE TEAM which can enhance one's day-EVERY DAY."

(Galloway, Email)

 _______

Works Cited

Action Sports International.  Body of John Lordan. 3 Sep. 2011.  Photograph.  Private collection.

Action Sports International.  Mind of John Lordan. 3 Sep. 2011.  Photograph.  Private collection.

Action Sports International.  Spirit of John Lordan. 3 Sep. 2011.  Photograph.  Private collection.

C Tolle Run, prod.  Breakfast with the Beardsleys (Part 1). YouTube. YouTube¸ 29^th June 2011. Web. 9^th July 2011.

Courage on Wheels.  Personal photograph by the author. 3 Sep. 2011.

Dameworth, Bryan.  Email Interview. 10 July 2011.

Erika’s Story.  Personal photograph by the author. 16 July 2011.

Galloway, Jeff. Mental Training for Runners. Indianapolis: Meyer & Meyer, 2011. Print.

Galloway, Jeff.  Email Interview. 12 July 2011.

Lordan, Erika.  Personal Interview. 14 July 2011.

Sarno, John The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders. New York: HarperCollins, 2007. Print. 

WELCOME TO FEELGOODRUNNING.

Talk to you all after Comic Con!  I'll be sure to take lots of pix!!

-John