PAIN SUCKS.

I mean it. ;-)

I had a bit more weight on me during my twenties. At one point I was hovering around two hundred and forty five pounds, no where near my heaviest. I was working as an I.T. Manager and bending over entering a door security code. All of a sudden it felt like the entire bottom portion of my body had an electrical "brownout". There was a jolt of pain, followed by a feeling of helplessness as I realized that I was stuck and could not return to an upright walking position.

Oh, did I mention I was in a telephone closet in a locked area where no one could hear me.. and I was only 29 years old. I had a sexy back, didn't I? :-)

Luckily I remembered there was a chair a bit behind me, and I had control of my feet, so I was able to hobble over, sit down.. and wait for about 5 minutes before my normal sensation returned. However now, there was an acute pain, new doubts about my physical ability, and a new type of fear for me to handle for the rest of my life. My weak back. It took about two to three weeks until I felt like I had fully recovered. Now that I'm a runner, when I encounter one of these injuries I have to modify my training plan, sometimes dramatically, to allow my body the chance to recover and heal.

I'm now nearing the end of my second relapse. Both have been due to ridiculously silly events. The first was me trying to be more efficient by putting on a sock while standing- sorry make that leaning against a corner of a closet doorframe. I lifted my leg, felt a quick twinge.. two weeks of twitch pains and minor, yet continuous discomfort. This current one happened when I chose to mimic my cat Gary. Yes, his name was inspired by Spongebob Squarepants, although instead of being a snail who thinks he's a cat, my Gary is a cat who thinks he's a dog. He follows me EVERYWHERE. Check out this video to see his nightly dinner routine with me.

Gary and I were playing and he lunged at me. Just decided he was a tiny panther and took this futile.. funny, tiny lunge towards me.

I returned the favor (being a ridiculous man child) and once again, felt that familiar jolt. Dang it John.. you know better than this.

I'm at the end of my second week of recovery and I decided to take this week off from running. BOY, has THAT been challenging.. but I'm recognizing the benefits. A big lesson I've learned with running this year, and I think you'll see this theme in all my posts so far.. is the importance and strength of being able to modify your original game plan.

A lot of us are driven in running with tools created from our ego. Our "need for speed", or drive to improve doesn't quite come from the same spiritual space as what motivates you for a long slow run through the woods or on the beach. Our "plans"; or the way we envision the race going is a VERY deep and personal thing. We put a lot of energy, and invest hours of training; both physical and mental, into this internal "plan". When we take it out on the road, and something breaks down or doesn't go as expected, our ego can take a serious hit. In a naturally competitive event like running, this twist can really work against you, or even take you completely out of the race.

My wife and I run several running groups throughout the year, so a lot of our schedule is planned.. literally years in advance. Around that, Vera and I weave our personal training in by adding runs at faster speeds, longer intervals, and longer distances. We even choose races specifically to push our own boundaries. This enables us to keep devleoping and becoming better runners, and in turn better running group leaders. I usually have between 6-12 months of my running training plan loaded into my Google calendar. I know daily what I'm going to do.. that is, until I'm injured.

This morning of this writing is a group run, that I will sit out. Yes, I'm taking my favorite part of the week, have forcing myself to sit it out so I can allow my back to fully recover. I will still go, and cheer on the team, pass out some hugs and laughs and all the other great stuff, by my internal trainer has now grabbed my training plan. He's telling me it's time to back off, and I'm going to listen. This is the same internal voice that got me through Grandma's Marathon this year by altering my plan, taking an hour off my previous marathon time. This is the same voice that lifts me out of the dumps when I'm ready to move forward from my last failure or disappointment. This voice is all the best parts of you being driven by positive energy. I REALLY like THIS voice.

There is that other voice.. oh yes. He wants me to run. He's even trying to use my ego against me.. "they NEED you out there John, what will those poor runners do". Oh the games we play with ourselves. This voice is loud and can grab your attention easily, distracting you from your true goal and killing your ability to focus. This is the quitter in you. One of the reasons I run, is that it gives me so much time to face "Mr. Quitter", and to let him know who's really the boss around here. That boss says it's time to take a week off, so we can avoid having to take a forced MONTH off, and that's what we are going to do.
______

One Week Later...

It's Saturday morning again! I am rested, recharged, and ready to see my team (Team SPIRIT) take on their first 8 mile run. :-) The week off was exactly what I needed. I stuck to my recovery, and I'm feeling strong. I lost a week of mileage, but I'm almost certain I've avoided a true "blowout", and by doing so ensured that I can continue with my long term goals. My mind struggled a bit with the downtime, but I stayed commited to my new altered plan and the benefits are already obvious. Mr. Quitter, hope you're ready for some more time together. I've got a few new lessons for you.

As runners we sometimes get so focused on execution, that it's hard to say "I need a break"; even if that's EXACTLY what we need. If your body is telling you for several days in a row that there is a problem, you MUST listen to it. Talk to your doctor, get some help, and find a way to move forward. Moving forward is what we were made to do; if you doubt it, just look at your feet.

I hope that someday this blog post may help someone take that break if they truly need it.

But only for as long as they need it. ;-)

Keep running,
-John