I'm 35 years old and I just went back to college. I had tried to start in 1994, right after high school. I signed up for two classes, English Composition and some Media and Society class that sounded like an easy A for a TV/Video Game addict like me. At the time I was newly married (yes I was 19, no it didn't last long :-) ) and I think I went to the first class once. Needless to say, my transcript how has two F's and I 'm finally back to get those changed to "W"'s. I really don't get this college letter grading system. ;-p
So 17 years and what feels like a lifetime later I'm back in school and I love it. The rest of this post is the first draft of my research paper. My topic? Is Running Truly "Hard". I hope you like it. -J
Is Running Truly “Hard”?
Who was this person I had become? “An entire marathon John, you really think you can run a full MARATHON” a voice knocked around in my head. I take a swig from my bottle of Gatorade; slam the cap down with my other palm and start running again. This just wasn’t how I dreamt it would go. The thing about running is, for something so seemingly simple it just never goes according to your plan.
“By using a successful brainwashing technique, you can use the resources from past successes.” (Jeff Galloway Email)
“Relax, Power, Glide John, use your ‘power words’” my brain pleads. I’m not ready to give this up, yet there’s a part of me that wants to fall down and cry. I’m bigger than that wimpy part of me. That’s old John. Listen to strong silent John. The one that’s still standing there after your ego has been shattered by reality.
I had to get to that finish line. I could already picture it; bleachers full of cheering spectators, people of every shape, size and age running together into a stream of color and joy. Some runners will cruise in effortlessly and celebrate their victories pumping a fist along the way. Others might look like they’re about to die as they stumble across the finish line, faces twisted and tears flowing down their red cheeks. The truth is they are dying. They’re killing off the old them so they can change and be someone different. If they stick with it, they get everything they ask for and a whole lot more.
I originally fell in love with running as a spectator of the Disneyland Half Marathon. Being a spectator at that race is a bit of a sport and adventure in itself. I spent a considerable amount of time stumbling around Anaheim at 5AM in the pitch black asking people “Do you know where the finish line is?”, “Nope, I know the Start is over there though!” Yeah, maybe I should go to the start and try to run to the finish before my wife gets there. I finally did make it to my seat and I waited. I waited. I waited until about an hour after the start, and then I saw one of the most amazingly inspirational things in my life.
This single moment changed my life. If those men could do a half marathon and come down the finishing chute blazing faster than a lightcycle in Tron, I could do something. Maybe not a half marathon, but I could do a 5K. These guys just used their arms for the past 13.1 miles! A 5K is three miles and some change, that was doable right John? Right John? HEY look at that! Some lady just high fived Mickey Mouse as she crossed the finish line. I really want to high five Mickey Mouse someday. Yes, I can do a 5k and after that who knows, maybe even a half marathon. Right now I have to learn how to just get started.
Luckily, my wife Vera had started running a year before me, so I had plenty of information. I did the 5k and then a 10k, and yes I did do that Disneyland Half Marathon race and it was great! I got to see myself on the Jumbo-tron in Angel’s stadium as I ran around the infield during mile 9 and I finished the race in two hours and forty one minutes. Four whole minutes under my goal! I will never forget the feeling of accomplishment that graced me once I crossed that finish line, but even after getting out there at Disneyland and having my own personal “Amazing Race” I had to take it even further.
Here I was in Florida, eighteen months into my “running career”, and only four months after my first Disneyland Half Marathon. We are experiencing the coldest weather recorded in Orlando for that weekend in over twenty years. This even includes snow falling the morning before. I am now running a full marathon towards the finish line at Epcot Center at Walt Disney World? What the hell was I thinking?
The running system I use is based on taking walk breaks. Jeff Galloway is the creator of his “run-walk-run” method and a bit of a personal hero of mine. On top of being an Olympic athlete and gifted author, Jeff Galloway has literally lived history. He was present for the horrible “Munich massacre” during the 1972 Olympic Games in which several Olympic Athletes were brutally executed. He trained with the “James Dean” of running Steve Prefontaine, as well as the only US athlete to currently hold a gold medal in the Olympics for the marathon, Frank Shorter. Jeff Galloway credits running with providing his stable and happy attitude a tool that serves him well both on the race course and off.
Jeff Galloway was also doing something else amazing. He was helping people that were out of shape and unhealthy all over America become runners right now. I know because he did it for me way before I ever met him via his writing, teachings and nowadays my wife and I spread his message by running a local chapter of his running organization. Our running group members are usually relatively inexperienced. Some people haven’t run a full mile in their lives before joining our group. Jeff Galloway’s “run-walk-run” method gives them the tools they need to truly enjoy the act of running and not just the benefits.
“Walk breaks… give you confidence [and] stimulate positive attitude hormones.” (Galloway, Mental 114)
Unfortunately, Jeff isn’t here to help me here in my first full marathon. Twenty-IsThisOverYet miles into the race and I realize that I’m just not going to be able to run anymore. My legs wobbled and I started walking WELL before my intended walk break. The stress of simply being worried about something bad happening became too much to bear. The thing about “running systems” is just like any other system, mechanical or electrical. Once you let them break it’s sometimes very hard to get them going again. Even if you do, you just don’t trust them like you did originally.
Dick Beardsley, the third fastest US born marathoner put it simply when he found himself in a similar situation.
“If I had to walk in, I was gonna finish” (C Tolle Run)
Dick Beardsley was discussing a lackluster performance of his during a marathon. He finished with at two hours and twenty seven minutes. I had already been out there for four hours. I was now hoping to finish around seven hours which was the time limit for this race. Vera’s going to be waiting forever and get worried, I just know it. “I’m going to have to walk it in. I can’t risk not finishing” I thought to myself, a big pulse of pride dropping out of my chest and onto the road behind me. I felt like Dick.
Erika Lordan is my sister and has been running for only eight months. She currently averages eight miles per week. Erika decided to become a runner in November of 2010, and in the eight months that have passed since Erika has run two 5K’s and a half marathon. She has also lost fifty-four pounds and there appears to be no stopping her, however before she was “a runner” she had a much different story.
“I have Myasthenia Gravis… If it starts attacking my respiratory [system] I’ll have to be on a ventilator, I won’t be able to control my lungs.” (Lordan, Interview)
I was actually at the ER with Erika when her symptoms first turned serious. The entire left side of her face went dead as if she had a stroke; her tongue not cooperating with her when she was attempting to speak, her embarrassment when eating and drinking because of her lack of motor control and difficulty swallowing. The trigger for all of these symptoms was stress. When her anxiety reaches a certain level, the symptoms would start and gradually get worse. Unfortunately Erika works in the health insurance industry, stress is a way of life for her.
A few years ago my sister volunteered for an experimental surgery with the goal of putting her disease into remission. Her chest and ribcage were cut open, much like an open heart procedure and they removed her thymus gland. The hope of putting her disease into remission fell short, however she was able to stop taking all her medication and she believes running is a key tool for managing her stress.
I was with my sister at the hospital before and after the procedure. Despite ALL those setbacks my sister bounced back. More than bounced back, she jumped off the couch and got moving and she hasn’t stopped since. Erika has put in her work and now enjoys a much healthier life, though she still occasionally worries since her disease is not in full remission.
“I’m more positive in my outlook… I go through my cycle and I’ll get past this issue, I’ll get past that finish line.” (Lordan, Interview)
Bryan Damesworth has been a runner for approximately thirty years. He averages twenty-five miles a week and is also the owner of a Simi Valley based specialty running store named “Foot Pursuit.”
“"Running has helped me to "go the distance" in so many other avenues (career, family, relationships, illness and survival).” (Damesworth, Email)
Survival? If you’re wondering what Bryan exactly meant by survival, on top of owning “Foot Pursuit” Bryan is an officer with the LAPD and works with the LAPD “Metro” Division. Unfortunately we’re not talking about public transit. Bryan works in areas being targeted for reduction of violent criminal activity in the Compton and Watts areas of South Central Los Angeles. His division is home to several specialty units including; SWAT, K-9, Mounted units and two line platoons. Bryan even gets the privilege of working security for the President when he’s visiting.
Bryan relies on being in shape for his very survival and the safety of the public. He uses running to keep him not only physically sharp, but mentally prepared. When I asked him to comment on the topic of this paper he put the answer to me very plainly.
“Running is not hard.” (Damesworth, Email)
Really Bryan? I’m at mile 22 and WALKING is feeling pretty hard to me!
John, this just isn’t going to cut it. You’re going to have to move faster than this! Now that I’ve been walking for a bit, my stress center is calm and my body is starting to feel normal again. The negative chatter in my head finally stops as a “silent power” from within takes hold. My legs all of a sudden felt fine, not good enough to run but there is clearly nothing seriously wrong with them. I can do this. I’m going to once again use one of my favorite “power words” and “power” walk my ass to that finish line! Here I come Vera, here I come Mickey! I want a high five!
“Running continuously will become “hard" for most people.” (Galloway, Email)
In Jeff Galloway’s book ‘Mental Training for Runners: How to Stay Motivated’ Jeff explains how there is a balance that can be achieved by using endorphins to manage your stress level, and this tool can be used to make running more enjoyable. You can control your endorphin release by using a combination of running and walking, instead of just outright running as most people attempt.
Jeff Galloway often cites “TMS” or tension mytosis syndrome as a leading cause of runner’s pain, fatigue and failure. TMS is a concept further detailed by Dr. John E. Sarno in his work ‘The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders’. The figure below from this book lends itself quite well to the specific stress system engaged while running.
TMS pain doesn’t start until after mild oxygen deprivation, so imagine you’ve been running for 30 minutes straight and start at the “TMS PAIN” box in Figure 1. As this level increases, it adds weight or pressure to the bucket directly below it; Rage, Emotional Pain and Sadness. As these increase they push your Ego. You start hearing messages of self-doubt in your head, old injuries seem to flare up, and emotional wounds reopen. All your weak points start to squeak and squeal at the same time which scares you even more.
That line from Ego that travels back to TMS Pain means that your newly created fear actually works like a turbo engine, creating its own momentum by feeding energy back into your TMS Pain box. It is an engine designed to force you to quit, making you so frustrated and fraught with pain and messages that you just give up. The mind is actually trying to help. It really does think you are damaging yourself and it attempts to shut you down for the sake of self-preservation.
Eventually your ego can’t take all this pressure and it kicks off an event that breaks that line in Figure 1 that cuts between your conscious and unconscious mind. Have you ever been so upset that you don’t remember what you did next? Guess what, you’ve experienced Figure 1 and one of these “events” we are discussing. It’s almost as if you are temporarily taken over by your subconscious; an off the cuff remark, blurting something out, a slap. We have all experienced this pattern. This pattern is what’s hard not only about running, but about it’s this same pattern that’s hard on us in our daily lives.
Self-inflicted negative messages can really stop you literally in your tracks. I’m still working to deprogram some of my more resilient ones. It’s no surprise really. Most people have found themselves exposed to some form of negative messages about running in their lives, usually during their impressionable youth. Running is frequently associated with punishment to children. They are never given a chance to fully comprehend the physical, emotional and social benefits because of the severe social pressure and false information they are bombarded with. That false information originates from the fears, failures and misconceptions of others. Don’t you have enough of your own false information to deal with?
I now understand that running was actually the friend I needed most. The type of friend that doesn’t tell you what you WANT to hear, they tell you what you NEED to hear. That special buddy of yours that always picks you up and is never pissed off at you if you cancel plans with them; a close confidant that knows your deepest fears and wildest fantasies and teases you about both. A spiritual partner that can communicate a thousand words with you just being together in simple silence. In case you’ve been lied to like I was previously in my life, PLEASE let me “re-welcome” you to running.
Life easily paralyzes us with small doses of the single most disabling type of fear, the fear of failure. This mind pattern can take a human beings existence and relegate it to little more than a set of extremely low expectations surrounded by the occasional mildly amusing surprise. Each of us has an inner truth, yet I believe most people are so out of touch with it that they don’t realize they are running already. Instead of running outside in the fresh air living, they are running from life.
I finished the 2010 Disneyworld Marathon at six hours and twenty seven minutes and became a new person. I didn’t get to high-five Mickey like I was hoping, I high fived Donald instead.
I told you this running thing never goes according to plan, it usually goes better than planned.
“Running blends body, mind and spirit into a POSITIVE TEAM which can enhance one's day-EVERY DAY."
(Galloway, Email)
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Works Cited
Action Sports International. Body of John Lordan. 3 Sep. 2011. Photograph. Private collection.
Action Sports International. Mind of John Lordan. 3 Sep. 2011. Photograph. Private collection.
Action Sports International. Spirit of John Lordan. 3 Sep. 2011. Photograph. Private collection.
C Tolle Run, prod. Breakfast with the Beardsleys (Part 1). YouTube. YouTube¸ 29th June 2011. Web. 9th July 2011.
Courage on Wheels. Personal photograph by the author. 3 Sep. 2011.
Dameworth, Bryan. Email Interview. 10 July 2011.
Erika’s Story. Personal photograph by the author. 16 July 2011.
Galloway, Jeff. Mental Training for Runners. Indianapolis: Meyer & Meyer, 2011. Print.
Galloway, Jeff. Email Interview. 12 July 2011.
Lordan, Erika. Personal Interview. 14 July 2011.
Sarno, John The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders. New York: HarperCollins, 2007. Print.
WELCOME TO FEELGOODRUNNING.
Talk to you all after Comic Con! I'll be sure to take lots of pix!!
-John
